feelings...

i thought i have come to terms with it after a while...

but i didnt know it still affect me so much...

feeling now is terrible...

the sense of loneliness... emptiness and lost seems overwhelming...

my heart feels so heavy...

feels so pain...

it's like an eternal fall into the dark abyss...

scary... and dark...



i have so much to say in my heart... but i dunno where to start...

i have no1 to turn to either...

not when im in newcastle...

not when im in this god forsaken place...



im stupid...

no doubts about tat...

i always do things on impulse only to regret later...

this time im really regretting big time...

stupidity has no limits..



read a thread on self-destruction in forums the other day...

i think i fit correctly in the criteria...

im self destructing...

i tried to pull myself up....

i tried hard...

but i failed again...



everyone in tat particular commented about pulling yrself up again n stuff...

they said it with such ease...

well... it's always easier said then done...

it's only when they go thru the shit then will they realize the pain n hurt...