a mask...

life is beginning to go back to the times...

when i have to live behind a mask...

the dreadful mask...


everyone sees the smile on the mask...

but not the sadness behind it...


the voice within remains unheard...

the sorrow of the one remains unknown...


if only i can...

i would...

but... doing so would hurt everyone...


rather every1 get hurts...

let me be the one instead...

afterall... im already used to carrying the burden alone...


everyone thinks im happy im back...

but deep inside im not...

not that im not happy to be back...

but rather i dun feel anything now... being here... or back there...


all or most of my friends envy me for getting a job which allows me to let my creative ideas flow...

but it's the holidays... i need the holidays to relax...

i wanna slack at home... watch some dvds... read some books... surf some net... and play a few games like...

like most of my classmates do....

or spend some time doing research for my final year project...

but i need to earn my air ticket back...


i wanna cry...

i wanna just cry my heart out...

but i just cant...


i wanna hide...

i wanna run...

but i cant...


i wanna go to a new place...

a place where no1 knows me...

i wanna live my life anew...

try everything again...

this place is just not for me...

i dun like it here... i dun like it back there...

i dun like it anywhere....


i have so much thoughts...

i dunno where to start...

i dunno how to start...

i dunno wat to start with...

i dunno how to write...

i dunno how to express...


suck...