my life or me...?

blogging my thoughts is becoming a more and more difficult task...

more and more thoughts are floating in my head...



i think when i bathe...

i think when i eat...

i think when i work...

i even dream about stuff when i sleep...



so much til i dunno what and how to blog them down...

they flood my mind as i write this very entry...


is life getting too hard on me...?

or is it me asking too much from life...?

courage + strength...

some things are just there in front of u...

but it takes a lot of courage to take the 1st step...



how long will i need before i overcome my fear...?

i dunno...

but everyday im tryin...

hard...




gimme some courage...

gimme some strength...

and let me finish this journey...

to love is to let go...?

to love is to let go...?

it's easier said than done...

for those who just uses their mouth will nv understand the pain of those goin thru it...

to me... that is just a consolation... to make me feel good...



nothing can hurt as bad as seeing the one you love on tv with someone she loves...

no words can imagine the excruciating pain im goin thru...

no one can understand how much it hurts...



i miss you...

good work...?

richard lepastrier and paul buckemeier came today...

and they were impressed by the stuff i produced...

although they had slight comments here and there...

but overall they liked my design...



i hope i can maintain my standard...

:D

i thought...

i thought i had gotten u outta my head...

i was wrong...

when i heard Kenny G's Silhoutte...

it brought back many memories...

the clips... the trip and others...



seems like after all this time...

im still walking in the shadows...



i miss u...

8th grade science....

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

can u pass your science...?

with love from sydney...

im back from sydney from a weekend of partying...

i even had a "present" from the City of Sydney authority...

i had a $77 parking fine...

KNNBCCB...



well... at least now i know how a summon slip in aus looks like...

unlike those paper summons slips from our beloved TP in singapore...

those issued here in aus are of a higher quality...

it has a plastic feel to it... and i think it's partly plastic...



and just by judging from the many payment methods available...

we can certainly be sure the government has offender's interests at heart...

besides paying at the post office... we can do it thru the internet and also by phone banking...

we too can pay the fine by cheque...

and guess what... a return envelope is issued together with the summon..

no postage is enclosed though... but the envelope is certainly good enough...



how thoughtful of the government...

now i know why australia like a higher taxation system...

to be more "friendly" to offenders like me... :D

changed...?

i have changed...

not too sure whether if it for the good or bad...

but certainly...

i have changed quite a fair bit over the years...



i dun even recognize the face in the mirror anymore....

the lonely walk...

everything still looks the same...

the same street...

the same houses...

the familiar environment...

everything looks just as per normal...

maybe not...

seems real.... but not as yet...

the feeling is diff...

the vibes are strange...

feeling uneasy...

i make haste to my destination...

the long walk...

cold air gushes in as i open the door...

the chill had me shivered for a moment...

i huddled myself tight to keep warm...

before i venture into the cold...

it was a cold night...

very cold indeed...

the crescented moon and the twinkling stars above were the only consolation...

as i walked in the cold night...

vapour escaped from my lungs....

as i quickened my steps...

so does my breathing...

the cold was getting too much for me...

it freezes my exposed skin...

and send chills down my spine...


*to be continued*