relax day...

been quite a while since i feel so relaxed..

feel so free...

the feeling is so good..

woo...

no class tomolo... shiok..

can sleep late...

can wake up late...

muahahhahah...

爱我的人和我爱的人 - 裘海正

盼不到我爱的人...
我知道我愿意再等...
疼不了爱我的人...
片刻柔情它骗不了人...
我不是无情的人...
却将你伤的最深...
我不忍我不能...
别再认真...
忘了我的人...

离不开我爱的人...
我知道爱需要缘分...
放不下爱我的人...
因为了解他多么认真...
为什么最真的心...
碰不到最好的人...
我不问我不能...
拥在怀中...
直到他变冷...

爱我的人为我痴心不悔...
我却为我爱的人甘心一生伤悲...
在乎的人始终不对...
谁对谁不必虚伪...
爱我的人为我付出一切...
我却为我爱的人流泪狂乱心碎...
爱与被爱同样受罪...
为什么不懂拒绝痴情的包围...

. . . . .

刘虹桦 - 我依然相信你还爱我

你吻她那刻...
心里有什么感动...
她给的快乐...
是否像我们有过...
爱情原来也决定在来的对不对时候...
不是你和我爱错了...

当你们牵手...
眺望星空的时候...
心中的美景...
是否像我们有过...
爱情原来也会结束在还相爱的时候...
不是你和我...
不曾心动...

我依然相信你还爱我...
只是结果离开我...
否则你的眼怎会忧愁...
我依然相信你是爱我...
只是当时太软弱...
否则直到今天不会不快乐...

当你们牵手...
眺望星空的时候...
心中的美景...
是否像我们有过...
爱情原来也会结束在还相爱的时候...
不是你和我...
不曾心动...

我依然相信你还爱我...
只是结果离开我...
否则你的眼怎会忧愁...
我依然相信你是爱我...
只是当时太软弱...
否则直到今天不会不快乐...

如果青春就要告一段落...
眼看我们被时间掩埋...
那句再见你还没有说...

我依然相信你还爱我...
只是结果离开我...
否则你的眼怎会忧愁...
我依然相信你是爱我...
只是当时太软弱...
否则直到今天不会不快乐...

否则直到今天不会不快乐...

. . . . .

so screwed...

im so screwed this sem...

not performing not performing not performing...

im so fucked...



either dunno how to do...

or not doing up to my expectations...

results had been disappointing...



im so distracted...

with wat i dunno...

so fucked so fucked...



my heart is pumping so hard...

pumping so fast now...

i could literally hear the beats...



the room is so warm...

but my hands and feet are so cold...

and im shivering...



i feel so uneasy now...



i feel so scare...



i dun wanna fare badly again...

mood swing...

hasnt been feeling 100% ok recently...

unable to sleep well...

unable to eat well...

unable to think well...



dunno what is wrong with me...

if i say it's the moon then i must be kidding you...

it's really me i think...



maybe it's work stress...

maybe it's because im sick of this place...

sick of what im doing...



no motivation...

no enthusiasm...

no interest...



maybe it's the fucked up grade i'm getting this sem...

it's just not good enuff getting class average...

FUCK THE CLASS... FUCK ME...



i should fucking wake up my fucking idea and do some fucking work...



pissed...



i ought to be...


at myself....

i wish...

it's 4am in the morning...

images of You flooded my mind...

memories of us swarmed my thoughts...



i miss you...

i wish i can reach You...

i hope You will call me...



but i know it's not gonna happen anytime soon...

sad...

im feeling sad...

today...

yesterday...

and the past few days...



call it mood swings if you want...

then it's a bad case of mood swing...



anyway...

i got just my grades for my conceptual today...

was only a credit...

hasnt seen credit for a while...

i suck...



im sinking...

help...

The One You Love - Glenn Frey

The One You Love - Glenn Frey

I know you need a friend, someone you can talk to...
Who will understand what you're going through...
When it comes to love, there's no easy answer...
Only you can say what you're gonna do...

I heard you on the phone, you took his number...
Said you were alone but you called him "Sue"
Isn't he the guy, the guy who left you crying...
Isn't he the one who made you blue...

When you remember those nights in his arms...
You know you gotta make up your mind...

Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you...
Or are you goin' back to the one you love...
Someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you...
Someone's gonna thank the stars above...

What you gonna say when he comes over...
There's no easy way to see this through...

All the broken dreams, all the disappointments...
Oh girl, what you gonna do...
Your heart keeps sayin', "It's just not fair"
But still you gotta make up your mind...

Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you...
Or are you goin' back to the one you love...
Someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you...
Someone's gonna thank the stars above...

. . . . .

something is wrong...

with me...

hasnt been able to focus on my work recently..

hasnt been able to think clearly too...



the mind seems to be clouded everyday...

seems to be busy with something...

but i just dunno what is it...



it's not abt family that's bothering me...

neither is it finances this time...

dun think it's bgr either...



it's just not anything i can think of...

not tangible...

not intangible...



a day can just flash thru and i dun realize it...

the attention to the happenings ard me doesnt seem real to me...

im kinda like lost in a world of my own...



a world tat does not exist in reality...

but it exists in my mind...

and it seems so real to me...



work was the top priority for me previously...

now it isnt...

i dunno what is now...



feeling so depressed...

feeling despondent...

feeling lost...



i feel so sick...



might be the moon...

do you still...

love me...?

dunno why...

but suddenly i feel the need to know the answer...

a b c . . . ?

fuck lah...

wat abc...

not america born chinese...

it's...

Angmoh Born in China lah...

tmd...

best dinner ever...

had the best dinner in newcastle ever...

chicken - $11.00

beef - $13.00

vegie + tofu - $8.50

wanton soup - $9.50

spring rolls - $2.40

rice - $2++

dessert - $4.90 each x 3

tea - $2.50++

service charge - 10%

GST - 10%

Total - $79.90 for 3...




the satisfaction - PRICELESS...

unhappy...

feeling unhappy today...

feeling lethargic too...



maybe not enough sleep...

maybe work stress is building up...

scalded... again... and again...

stupidity has no limits...


have been scalding myself recently...

either in the shower room...

or when washing the dishes...



the irony is tat only my left hand is badly scalded...

the right is still ok... as at 10.43am 7 aug 2005...



to save all the uneasiness...

i shall not post the pic here...

but i can describle how unsightly it is...



1) all red...

2) skin is peeling off...

3) blood clots...

4) painful...

this 1... that 1... which 1...?

which one would you choose...?



the one you love...?

or...

the one you enjoy being with...?

memories of You...

sometimes it's just not easy to let go...

i thought it was over...

but in fact...

it's just self delusion...

she is still in the fragments of my memories...



i still think of Her every now and then...

especially on quiet nights like this...



missed the many nites we spent toking on the phone...

missed the many nites we spent we sat on the sofa and watch DVDs...

missed the many nites we spent cuddling on the bed...



missed the many kisses from Her...

missed the many hugs from Her...



missed the fragrance...

missed the tenderly touch...



i missed the everything about You...